I should be sleeping right now.I'm not sure if I will be going into work tommorow. Just got back home not too long ago from a friend's friend's place - if that made any sense to you. Down in South Street in the city. Phil, Natalie, John (TigerJik), Kevin et. al.
I came home wondering if a certain someone was online... and yes! she was. yet, there was no response. only if she could have just said one word, paltry one word... but no.
I do admire her determination - though I am not sure what she is determined to do... Perhaps she wants to break me, but no, I shall not break so easily. Another bad news:
Since I was invited to her suprise birthday party, (which I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to go...) I decided to buy her the Les Mis cd.... but I found out from her roomate that she had recently just ordered it online... gah...along with this and the fact that she is still set on distancing herself from me... I am not sure if I want to be there for her suprise birthday party.. I don't think she would appreciate me showing up, even if for a little bit... All I planned to do was to be there for the initial suprise and to give her gift, then leave... but just my luck eh?

On a brighter note, I found out that the Atlantic City trip for Eddie and Derek went really well... and I was much relieved to hear that. I was a bit worried since Eddie was in a slump of some sort. But yeah... guys I'm really glad that you guys had a great time. Even if you didn't win money ;)

Another day, another week dawns tommorow, I think I will go in to work tommorow. I need to keep myself busy... But perhaps I'll go in a little late ;)

mmm, my mind still on the rose who has tamed me... I wonder if the flowers have bloomed, I wonder how she is doing.
Such a beautiful rose, even with the great numbers of thorns that she protects herself with... I did not hesitate, I knew that I would be left with cuts and bruises, yet I still wouldn't let it phase me. The battle has taken its toll on me, but this is one battle that I should never give up...
This feeling, is real, genuine, something inside me clicked and I realized what I wanted, and what I wanted was her.
Sure, I'll continue to profess my woes, - whine in other words - via the blogger - but, damn it, I won't give up till it is really over.
Till that day, that day when I can't see her eyes sparkling when she looks at me,
till that day, I shall not give up, or lose hope.
that hope that I disdain, that hope that has failed me so many times.
I might hang on a thin string, but I shall hang on to it with all the power I have inside me.
And if I should fall, I shall climb back up and reclaim that strand of hope -
after all, without hope, life truely would be bleak.

Ah gosh, I wish she didn't order those Les Mis cds....
A perfect gift.
O' dear God, could you not have given me at least that much?

I still debate..on if I should drop by her party...perhaps I will, if I find a suitable gift...
a meaningful gift.

thank god for blogger.
because, sometimes, you just have no where to turn to,
no one to lean on. even if there are... it is much easier talking to one that doesn't speak back... at times that is.

give me the strength to endure -


won't you find me again.

one must be responsible for those one has tamed

all I asked was for a word, a word,
a "hi" or a "goodnight" or even a facial expression...
ah -
that will be all for tonight