my mind is in a complete disarray. the foundations that held it, the meager foundations, are finally being crushed by the full force of reality.
The future,
I am afraid.
Computer Science, my major, is sapping the life out of me... or is this just some lame excuse that I proclaim for my failures...
So I came to Drexel, 5 year Co-op program. All my co-ops are done... and what have I gotten out of them?
Nothing.
I didn't learn a damned thing that I could apply in the real world...perhaps I am exaggerating, but I can't help but to think that my co-ops were a complete waste of time.
Sure, I can write down that I had worked at those places...but what did I do there? what did I learn there?

Not to mention that more and more I delve into computer science, more and more I disdain it, loathe it. What are my options? I cannot change my major at this point... I am tossing around the idea of grad. school afterwards... perhaps a MBA..but then again, where would I go? how will I be able to afford it?
There are so many things on my mind lately. I am taking 20 credits, the maximum allowed. Even so, two of the classes will require modicum of work to recieve an "A" - I am getting a bit overwhelmed, regardless.... Now, if I had better work ethics, this wouldnt' be so. It isn't even the fact that I have devoted much of my weekends with my dear significant other - it is just that I am not managing my time well.. I am refusing to manage them well.
Nevertheless, I must bear and grin through this... about a year left...less than a year left...

on another note -
I think for most of us, there comes a time when we seriously ask ourselves "what is love?"
I think,,, that is love.

Each day I fight with my insecurities, short comings, school....this oppressive heat wave over Philadelphia.
my funds are quickly dwindling... I am surely on the edge. I need guidence. I need help.